Well, these “possible massive spoilers” come from CosmicBookNews.com, which says these are from 4Chan, which apparently gave some insanely incorrect “spoilers” for Iron Man 3, so they’re not sure what to think of this, but if you’re interested in some (again) “possible massive spoilers” for the upcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, then check it out below.

By the way, it’s also rumoured that  about a third of the movie needs to be re-filmed, so some of these may not stick (if true or not):

* The Turtles are normal human teenaged non-identical quadruplet brothers age 18, 3 of which as janitors, and the “lead” brother in security, all at TCRI when they stumble into the “Central Mutagenic Chamber” that they know they’re not supposed to go to and become accidentally exposed to it. I don’t know their real names but I’m told they’re equivalent to “Tom, Steven, Jim and Dave.”

* The ooze instantly mutates you in this universe into the last thing you touched. The last thing the brothers touched was a tortoise they find in the lab and pass around goofily ala “Hot Potato.”

* The ooze automatically makes you learn “kung fu,” ala the Matrix. No mention of ninjitsu beyond dialogue of the Turtles talking conversationally about, “How cool! We’re like, ninjas now, dudes!” So the Turtles are basically “Late Teenaged Mutant Kung Fu Tortoises.”

* April O’Neil’s father IS Splinter. Or at least, is now. “Mac” O’Neil seems to be his real name. He barely remembers April, instead the mutagen-infused martial arts side of him takes over. Strange. In any case, he’s there, lurking under the TCRI building, just in time to save the newly mutated Turtles and take them under his wing. There’s some pretty long training sequences where they basically refuse to conform and try to rebel against Splinter’s teachings. “You must take this gift, this opportunity, and become heroes for the people of this city!!!” Lame.

* April is a news reporter that is investigating TCRI, where Baxter is further refining the ooze for Erich Sachs. Like the first movie, the Foot/Shredder doesn’t like her snooping around, so they attempt to silence her but fail (and then she meets the Turtles and makes fast friends).

* There is no Hamato Yoshi beyond some quick mention of the original Shredder, Oroku Saki, having been in conflict with one’s rival clan in a particular era of Feudal Japan that Erich Sachs is interested in/seems to obsess on. There is a flashback to some of this, a big sweeping montage of Japanese samurai and ninja fighting, but it might end up getting cut in the theatrical cut.

* Erich Sachs isn’t a real person. He’s an android and Prime Leader Krang has been inside him the whole time. There’s a whole Transformers-like crash landing on Earth scene centuries ago, and there’s a scene where you see him being built, and the prototype looks almost exactly like the Fred Wolf TMNT android body for Krang, red underwear and all, but more segmented. Turns out he used to “be” Oroku Saki in Feudal Japan.

* Sachs hires criminals to create crime, creates the Foot to deal with the crime after being empowered, and then when a state of martial law is instituted, uses the Foot to basically take control of the city in the guise of the Shredder.

* Karai is the military leader of the Foot.

* The Turtles go on a hunch to the Appalachian Mountains to investigate a TCRI lead by April. The Turtles do a flash mob dance to try and distract the Foot guards there. At one point, Don loses his glasses and can’t fight, but ends up accidentally KOing Foot Soldiers anyway. It’s very embarrassing. They escape, for now.

* The Turtles and Vernon get kidnapped by the Foot, Raphael and April have to rescue them.

* The Technodrome (piloted by Krang-Shredder) comes out in New York, destroying a bunch of buildings. Expect Armageddon/Independence Day stuff here. A gateway opens to Dimension X and Rock Soldiers start coming out, and start taking out EVERYBODY, even the Foot Soldiers (whose use to Krang-Shredder is apparently over, or at least trivialized).

* Raph at the wheel, Donatello’s Turtle Van (foreshadowed earlier in the movie) runs over a bunch of Rock Soldiers and rams its way into the Technodrome.

* Big final battle. They fight their way through Rock Soldiers and robots and other Dimension X monsters. The captive Turtles are freed just in time for the big battle… where a somewhat brainwashed Vernon (actually, it turns out Vernon was under the employ of Sachs the whole movie… there’s a line about Sachs paying a whole hell of a lot better than the news station) and Baxter are mutated into Bebop and Rocksteady. Splinter joins the fight. At one point it almost looks like its going to end like the first movie (Splinter taking him out), but it’s more the Turtles’ teamwork that saves the day. And April knocks down Karai for the second movie in a row. Wowzers.

* Good guys win, bad guys lose (though there’s a spark of hope in the Vernon-Bebop), what’s left of the Technodrome is sent back to Dimension X with Krang-Shredder and Bebop and Rocksteady and the whole crew of Rock Soldiers. April gives Raphael a big makeout-caliber kiss and everybody goes for pizza at Pizza Hut while a scared staff presides over it. Father and daughter reunion with April and Splinter, who now “remembers” it all. Think, the schwarma scene from Avengers, but silly.

* After the credits scene of an invasion force of Krang-like Utroms in Dimension X getting ready to invade Earth, Leatherhead on some kind of mass leashes (think, the Alien Queen from AVP). There is MULTIPLE Technodromes rolling forth, and some of what look like floating Technodrome orbs. “

Any thoughts? Which do you hope is true? What do you think of the TV Spot?

Let us know below!

4/13/2014 – 3:35 pm

by James